Well, Josh Duhamel, star of a few of these bloated, bombastic films has an idea. Here it is:

“Well the popular theory is that if they come, we’re in trouble. Yeah, I think that we would definitely try, we would do everything we have to… unless there was some way to sort of figure out that they were here for, y’know, friendly reasons. Part of the problem with what I do in this movie with the TRF is we’re trying to exterminate all of these Transformers from the face of the Earth. We don’t want them here anymore. Having worked with them for all these years now, knowing that some of them are actually good and can actually help us, is a problem for my character because he knows Optimus and Bumblebee can help. So eliminating all of them is not necessarily something he wants to do.”

Duhamel’s an idiot, and you can tell he’s an idiot from the rather idiotic statement he makes. We would make war on them if we could not somehow derive their ambitions? Let’s think about that. Let’s examine it, seriously, for a moment. Let’s pretend they, the Transformers, arrived in the same fashion as the aliens in Denis Villenueve’s Arrival.

First, the Decepticons: being a warrior race means there would be no peace from the outset. There would be no dialogue. There would be no communication of any kind. They would take what they wanted and destroyed what they wished to obliterate. They would take, we would be taken from. War, and surely a short form of war, would ensue until the planet was enveloped in white hot nuclear slag and ash. That is, if the Decepticons didn’t knock out our nuclear command systems from the outset, paralyzing us like pinned ants on a corkboard. Contact with the Decepticons would be immediate war, and war would be the end of us, and by us I mean humanity here on this one little planet.

Now the Autobots: the Autobots are peaceful, and would not descend in such a manner as the Deceptions, They would find a way to communicate. They would find a way to let their ambitions be known. Did they come here for energy? Water? Vacation? Some, like Duhamel, would argue, because they’ve seen it in movies and read it in fictional narratives, that we would simply war with them, before they had a chance to communicate their peaceful intentions, which is a bogus claim and doesn’t quite follow mankind’s historical experience.

After all, the New World explorers didn’t begin the elimination of the “native” Americans simply because the two could not share the same space. In fact, the large majority of them were left alone, which is why ten million of them died from disease for which they had no natural defense, instead of being murdered outright at the hands of the conquistadors. If they had begun a war of extermination, there would exist now no descendants of those original Americans. which is clearly false. The conquistadors demanded gold, not a license to murder wholesale an entire people. That didn’t become modern parlance until Adolf Hitler, really. And they didn’t want war, either, although that at times became necessary to meet their objectives. I’m pretty sure the Autobots could and wold just ask, pretty please.

Same goes for more northerly incursions, near what is now called New England. The first European men and women to set foot on those rocks weren’t met with an assault force of “native” Americans. There was a wait and see. There was even cooperation. Yes, wars occurred, but they were few, comparatively, and the first Americans were outnumbered and outgunned. Nor did the Europeans go about taking by force, immediately anyway, what they wanted from the Native Americans. Remember, Peter Minuet bought Manhattan for 12.14 in junk. He didn’t kill for it. He didn’t invade and wage war for it. War is what happens when trade fails.

So what does all this gibberish mean for an encounter with the Autobots? It means, in short, that the Autobots would arrive much like the original colonists arrived at Plymouth Rock, that they would have no claims to war, and would be likely met by us, the more modern and tolerant descendants of those Englishmen and women, in wonder, not fear, and certainly not outright hostility.

Besides, humans have been waiting for aliens to arrive for decades. It would take an overt act of war on the Autobots part before we reciprocated, and you wouldn’t get such a scenario from the Autobots, our so-called shoot-first and ask questions later historical nature aside.

No, what would drive us to hate the Autobots, if that even happened, would be their war, our planet. But we could also learn from them and expand in ways unimaginable even now. Our technological growth would supersede any that has come before. New weapons, new energy sources, interstellar and intergalactic travel. Artificial intelligence.

We’d want them, the Transformers to leave, but not before we “borrowed” from them as much as possible, and even then I think there would exist some kind of residual affinity for the Autobot battalions, just not their incapacitating, obliterative war. After all, the Autobots are really just humans at their collective best.

Thus, the question boils squarely down to this: are humans better today, as a people, than those gold-hungry conquistadors? Would we make war on peaceful visitors before we knew their intentions? The motion pictures say yes, but history, our true history is much more subtly rendered. .