Another year another, one of these motherfuckers.

Looks like there’s another Sharknado headed our way. I’ve yet to figure out these films get made. Do they cost about ten bucks in CGI, and what, the film itself makes eleven o=r twelve? You know the entire cast, including what’s left of Tara Reid’s body, is on food stamps and other assorted welfare. Who knew global destruction was so easy to generate in pirated copies of Photoshop and Adobe After Effects?

In any case, here’s the poster for this piece of shit, which doesn’t even have a cool tagline, unlike the first film.

 

I mean, what do you say about such schmaltz? Do I attack the ineffective Photoshopping skills? The ludicrous tagline that’s not even appropriate for a film that doesn’t occur in the US? I mean most of the fucking film is set overseas, and by set overseas I mean they mixed Shutterstock videos into Adobe After Effects to get the “destruction”, along with some live-action plates they filmed in Tara Reid’s backyard.

Here’s the synopsis: “The Shepards chase a Sharknado around the world after it sweeps up their son and vanishes with him.”

As for the cast, here’s a quote from Screenrant:

This time we can expect to see Olivia Newton-John (Grease) as a scientist, skateboarder Tony Hawk as a weapons expert, Gilbert Gottfried as a storm chaser, UK Olympic diver Tom Daley as an art-thief, and many others who will inevitably become shark-fodder at some point. Even actor Ross Mullan, who plays a Game of Thrones White Walker, will be appearing as a mad scientist.

Who watches this garbage? Tanman and his now-pregnant beard? That poor kid…..