I’m not going to talk about this one much, because as everyone either knows all the pertinent details, or can look them up on IMDb and Wikipedia. Really, do you want to hear that Travis Knight is directing, or Hailee Steinfield is in the lead? Again? No, and I don’t want to repeat myself every time I make one of these damned posts. I’m not the one of those paid-by-word robot monkeys over at Screenrant.

So basically the title says that the Bumblebee spinoff will explore life without Optimums Prime, true, but it’ll also explore Bee’s life without much else, either, because this is the gender-corrected version of The Iron Giant, because as you know, girls are mechanics, love robots, and often find themselves in adventures with the aforementioned. Which is a lie. Boy’s love robots, love working on cars, and in general dream of big robots crashing and crushing their way through shit. But hey, because it’s progressive to lie about gender differences, even in kids, why not, right? Fuck the truth. The truth has to die to make way for the progressive neo-faith absurdity that little girls are just like little boys even though anyone who has ever spent enough time with them will tell you, no, they are very fucking different.

Ahem.

So life without Prime, huh? Yeah, I think Bumblebee will be okay. What you really  mean is, a movie without Prime and whether or not it can make billions at the box office sans the main good guy. Good question. We will see.

So here’s Lorenzo Di Bonaventura talking yet again about the Bumblebee spinoff:

“The interesting thing about doing a spin-off is it has to have some familiarity with the franchise, and then it has to have its own distinct qualities for it to stand on its own. It’s the story of a 17-, 18-year-old girl who, through a series of events, she and Bumblebee find each other, and they make each other whole. Bumblebee’s a very loving character. He’s got a lot of heart, so of course the idyllic life of these two is interrupted by the evil Decepticons. And how are they going to be able to deal with the problem without Optimus and without everybody else?”

Yada yada yada. She doesn’t have family? She doesn’t have a boyfriend? Maybe if she weren’t such a lesbian, hanging out with dudes all the time, working on cars, and instead focused more on her family and friends and social life, like virtually every young woman alive now and forever, she might not need a huge non-talking car-robot thing to make her whole. It worked in Iron Giant, because boys are that way. Girls are different. Why can’t screenwriters see that fact and reflect it in their films? Because different now makes money? Because they already did this boy and his robot schtick in the first Michael Bay film, so now they have to do it with a girl to make more money? Because that’s the in-thing these days?